DOUBLE TIME

So, I realized that Zoe will be here in 12 days. Barring a negative FLM test result (Fetal Lung Maturity), she'll be born on October 11, 2005 sometime very shortly after 7 in the morning. And all I can think about is all the stuff I still have to do before she gets here. It's really overwhelming to think about, and I've been trying to put it in the back of my mind today but it won't go away. These things just sit there like bricks, weighing me down completely, and taunting me with their near impossibility. I can only imagine what it's going to be like when she arrives, and I want to make the transition as easy as possible for all involved. I suppose I should just not stress out about the things I can't control.

165/94

That was my blood pressure at the DR today. "Alarmingly high," according to the Doctor. Scary stuff. So, I've been scheduled for a repeat c-section on October 11 at 7:00 in the morning. But that also means that I have to have an amniocentesis done the prior morning to determine if Zoe's lungs are mature. That is scary. But, the scariest of all is I get to meet my little girl in less than two weeks...yikes.

Doctor Tomorrow

We'll find out what she has to say about delivering Zoe. I'm nervous. Butterflies all in my tummy, and I don't think I'll be able to sleep (though for different reasons than normal). I'm also a little scared about the possibility of having another baby in less than two weeks.

I'll update after the appointment!

PANIC

So it occurs to me this afternoon that I could very well be having a baby in two weeks. I'm not ready for that! How can I possibly finish EVERYTHING that must be done before she gets here in only two weeks?? And why do the seemingly unimportant things become the MOST important things? Why is scrubbing a baseboard more important to me, than say, unpacking the kitchen? Why is doing laundry more important than making a dent in unpacking our clothing? Nesting...it's a funny, funny thing!

Zoe's Room

Ultrasound Results...

Zoe is measuring right at 35 weeks, which puts my new due date at October 24th. This also means that Dr Motley will most likely want to schedule a c-section on or around October 9th. Of course, this will also entail an amniocentesis, which is a scary prospect. More so because I am so deathly afraid of needles than because of any real threat it poses to either of us involved.

We didn't get to see the Dr today, because she was busy delivering babies all over town. So, we go back Wednesday to see what is going on and when we'll have the baby for sure. I'm nervous as all get out because this baby has been trying to come out (I'm fairly sure she's trying to start labor signals) and now they're not sure a VBAC would be a good idea for me.

Zoe's current estimated weight : 5 lbs 5 oz. Normal, totally average. Short little legs, chubby little arms (from what the sono tech could tell today). Sounds like my baby girl is cooking just fine.

Doctor today

We go to the Doctor today, and I have the sneakiest suspicion she will be scheduling the delivery of baby Zoe. We're supposed to have a sonogram to determine how much she is growing and see how close on to the due date we actually are. I'll make sure to update after we visit with the Doctor at 12:45. I'll make a new post tonight!

Fairies and Princesses and Butterflies

I am so excited that my daughter is going to be born! That I have painted her room purple! That her bedding is delightfully girly -- pinks and purples and flowers and hearts!! I can't wait to see her, to dress her in all the pink clothes that are washed and waiting for her in her brand new dresser and closet. I even packed the hospital bags! Memaw bought me some new gowns to take to the hospital too, girlish ones....much fancier than what we got when I went to the hospital with Daniel. But then again, these were even cheaper because of a glitch at Sears.

Daniel loves to be in Zoe's room. There is a corner that is not occupied by anything, between the end of the crib and the end of the combo unit (dresser/changing table), and he LOVES to dance in that corner. He gets really excited when you lift him up to see into the crib, even though the only thing in there is a teddy bear with a pink bow around its neck. I've taken pictures....I just need to find that cord so I can post them!! Hopefully I'll find it this weekend.

So, for the first year or so of her life my little Zoe will be a real girly-girl. Beyond that, when she begins to choose her own way....who knows? Secretly, I guess I'm hoping for a nice mixture of girly-girl and tomboy. I'd like her to be athletic, but girlish. Heck, I just want her to be happy!

Bathtubs

So, we have this really terrific bathtub in our new master bath. I believe it's called a "Texas Tub", or something to that effect. Anyway, it's GREAT. And I have literally taken a soaking hot bath every night since we moved in. It helps relax me, and.....just like Daniel did, Zoe LOVES it. She gets really wired when I first get in and then she mellows out. But she moves pretty much constantly while I'm in the tub. Perhaps, like her big brother, she will be a huge fan of the "watee."

Today I'm 34 weeks and 1 day pregnant. Tonight, I packed Zoe's clothes and her going home outfit for the hospital. I got the baggies labeled to hold my toiletries and my undies. The bag is prepared for the addition of two new inexpensive gowns that I will purchase specifically to take to the hospital, and I will throw the slippers in that were bought for the express purpose of being worn in the hospital. I suppose there is some small part of me that still holds out hope that God and Zoe will decide she's ready before the DR cuts me open again to take her out. Besides that, I'm nesting! Leave me alone! ;o) No, I kid, I kid....but I am nesting. And besides that I feel like my body just might be preparing itself for delivery. One way or another.

I'll be a mommy for the 2nd time in no more than 4 weeks. That scares me, excites me, and makes me want to throw up. But in a good way :o)

This one's for Zoe

As I sit here tonight, thinking about becoming a mother again I realize how truly precious LIFE is. Pregnancy is one of God's greatest gifts, and the care of a child is the most awesome responsibility I can think of. Why God chose me to give birth to my incredible son, and now to carry this remarkable little girl....I'll never know. What I do know is, no matter what, I will love my children unconditionally and always. You never fully grasp the overwhelming feelings of TRUE LOVE until you've had a child to care for.

So, this blog is just for Zoe. A place to record memories of her, thoughts for her, wishes for her future. I love you, baby girl.